A few hours ago, I said good bye to a girl named Judit who is moving back home to the Canary Islands ... she has been living here in Belfast for 8 months working as an au pair. I met Judit through playing on the Queen's University volleyball team.
I may have lived in Belfast for over a year now, but there are still moments when I feel sad or lonely. There are still days when I don't have to work-- but wish that I did, because-- well, some days I just don't want to be alone. There are still times when I'm walking in the city, with the hustle and bustle all around me, but feel very small and quiet inside. As I gave Judit a big hug good bye today, I felt a wash of sadness and regret come over me. After her last practice with our Queen's team last night, I felt like I wanted to give her a little note or see her again, even though we had all said our good byes. I was a bit nervous though, because outside of volleyball training or games, we had never hung out together before. I drove home thinking about it. I knew today would be her last full day in Belfast before leaving early tomorrow morning, and that she would probably be busy getting things sorted-- I remember my last day as an au pair in Bruff with the Noonans-- my head was spinning! Nonetheless, I decided to just go for it and ask if she wanted to get a coffee today seeing as I wasn't working. I sent her a message on Facebook after getting home, and shortly thereafter she replied saying that she would love to. I was delighted! So we met up today in town and I took her to a place that I like to go whenever I take myself on a coffee date. :) We sat and chatted for about an hour... it was lovely, and all I could think was "why didn't I just ask her months ago?!" Here she was, with a few hours of freedom every day of the week, and I never asked.
Living here in Belfast is so different from Santa Barbara. Here, you meet people from all over... some are coming and going, others have been here for years. Europeans definitely seem to value travel more than Americans, which is something I really like. I've learned so much more about myself and others from being in this new place and getting to know new people than I ever could sitting in a classroom. Settling down somewhere new is hard-- especially when it's so far away from everything familiar. But it has really challenged my views about the kind of person I want to be, wherever I am in the world. Would I reach out to someone? Would I take a "risk" and just invite a co-worker over for tea? It sounds like such a small task, but at times it can be terrifying for me! I don't know if it's my fear of being rejected, or getting out of my comfort zone, or having to make conversation with someone new... these all sound like such miniscule excuses when I write them down. You never, ever know if someone is feeling alone. And you never, ever know what a great relationship might form if you take that first step. I remember living in Santa Barbara, having my small group of friends, and feeling completely content with that. "I don't need any more friends, I'm so happy with the ones I have!" is what I often thought. Now, looking back, I feel like this attitude is just not what God would desire of us as Christians. It is a self-centered way of thinking, isn't it?
Once in awhile, you meet someone who straight away, you know you really like... and you think this person might be a good friend if circumstances allowed. But, time passes, and you make excuses for not putting yourself out there, or being the first one to initiate anything. Or perhaps you don't really think much of it, because you have other close friends who fill that space in your heart. I may not have said it one year ago, but today I would say, meet someone new! Or if you know of someone who may be feeling lonely, invite them for a coffee. Or have someone who lives alone over for dinner with your family. The best gift you can give is your time-- it sounds simple, and maybe a bit cliche, but these days, people who will cheerfully offer this gift are hard to find. I myself am so often guilty of wanting my "own" time, and in turn pass up opportunities that cannot be recreated.
Judit is one of those people who is always smiling. She is a tiny little thing but she has a big personality! I wish now that we could meet up again the next time I don't have to work... but, tomorrow she'll be on a plane. *sigh* As Judit said to me, "It's not good bye, just see you later!" (and it sounds cute when she says it in her Spanish accent :)
Anyway, just some thoughts I am having as I sit here in my cozy apartment on this rainy day.
xxx
erin
