Times are a changin'. We've got to adapt. Men aren't the men of yesteryear. And women are morphing into a new creature. The line between the sexes is getting blurred.... and I like it!
Househusband is a term that has been born of this transition. Men, have you ever considered wandering down this delightfully emasculating path? I tried it today. I got off work at 3pm and headed down to Soul Food café to mooch off my wife's industrious disposition. I sat down with my semi-skimmed, extra-hot, easy on the foam, double espresso shot vanilla latté with a slice of carrot cake and passed the time journalling, reading, considering what to cook for my wife that evening, and debating over furniture arrangement in our living room. What an enjoyable role reversal.
It was fun seeing Erin work, even more to see her happy and chatting to work-people I didn't know.
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| Since adding Erin to the payroll tips have increased 83%! Clever marketing strategy by the management at Soul Food! It pays to have a blonde bombshell on the frontline. |
My wife's first weekly wage
They pay in cash :)
Interesting side note: Not all Northern Irish bank notes are the same. For example, observe the 2 different £20 notes Erin received.
So men, I call you to bask in the spoils of female empowerment. We've had centuries of hard-work and breadwinning. How hard can affairs of the house be?
In case I offended any women:
ReplyDeleteA man was sick and tired of going to work every day while his wife stayed home. He wanted her to see what he went through so he prayed: "Dear Lord: I go to work every day and put in 8 hours while my wife merely stays at home. I want her to know what I go through, so please allow her body to switch with mine for a day Amen."
God, in his infinite wisdom, granted the man's wish.
The next morning, sure enough, the man awoke as a woman. He arose, cooked breakfast for his mate, Awakened the kids, Set out their school clothes, Fed them breakfast, Packed their lunches, Drove them to school, Came home and
Picked up the dry cleaning, Took it to the cleaners and Stopped at the bank to make a deposit, Went grocery shopping, Then drove home to put away the groceries, Paid the bills and
Balanced the check book. He cleaned the cat's litter box and bathed the dog.
Then it was already 1P.M. And he hurried to make the beds, Do the laundry, Vacuum, Dust, and Sweep and Mop the kitchen floor. Ran to the school to pick up the kids and got into an argument with them on the way home. Set out milk and cookies and got the kids organized to do their homework, then set up the ironing board and watched TV while he did the ironing.
At 4:30 he began peeling potatoes and washing vegetables for salad, breaded the pork chops and
snapped fresh beans for supper. After supper, he cleaned the kitchen, ran the dishwasher, folded laundry, bathed the kids, and put them to bed.
At 9 P.M. He was exhausted and, though his daily chores weren't finished, he went to bed where he was expected to make love, which he managed to get through without complaint.
The next morning, he awoke and immediately knelt by the bed and said: -"Lord, I don't know what I was thinking. I was so wrong to envy my wife's being able to stay home all day. Please, oh! Oh! Please, let us trade back."
The Lord, in His infinite wisdom, replied:
"My son, I feel you have learned your lesson and I will be happy to change things back to the way they were. You'll just have to wait nine months though. You got pregnant last night."
I am entering my first comment to see if it works...komputer karen--over and out
ReplyDeleteniall you are funny
ReplyDeleteWell done mom! Looks like you finally figured it out :) Keep commenting... you may be the only one, ha ha
ReplyDeleteok--on a roll now---niall, did you make up that last comment? so aware of all that a woman's day entails! good job! when are we getting another pearl on the blog? After housework, I spend about 4 hours daily blogging and I'm getting bored...komputer karen--over and out
ReplyDeleteOK, I am another "anonymous" since I don't understand all of the other choices :/ -just checking to see if I have to join anything to comment. I vacillate between laughing and crying when I read your blogs-Niall, you are hilarious!!, Erin's the heart-wrencher, so of course, you make the perfect team. :)
ReplyDeleteHAPPY BIRTHDAY ERIN !!!! Please forgive us for not sending a card sooner, but one's on the way.
Love you guys, and hope you had a great Bday!!!
oops! I realized there was no way to know who made the last comment. It may be even more difficult to guess than the shower advice cards, so my name will be a pretty big hint. If I want to be Katydid, how do I set that up?? We will soooooo miss you Erin girl, at the "A" team shower. Any baby advice to pass on to the new mom?
ReplyDeletecome on you guys...update! (is that computer lingo?)
ReplyDelete