Rant over.
I need to right some wrongs on the blog here. It's not nice to speak poorly of my wife in a public forum. I should never have questioned her archery skills or those of her forefathers. So, want to hear some of her recent achievements?
Our softball league recently came to an intense end. We were first timers to the league - barely knew how to catch a ball never mind know the rules. Jon Dohm can attest to that. I'm sure he got a good laugh that one time he came to our practice and saw us not knowing which way to run after we hit the ball. Is 1st base the one to the left or right???!! We languished in 4/5th place in the league all year - not bad for rookies. However, last day of the season - double-header for us at home. Playing 2 teams back to back. The last one - the no.1 team in the league and 1 game (ours) away from a perfect 12-0 season. Win both and we would finish second!
We won the first game 14-3. Fielding we were solid - not always a trait associated with us. We had garnered a reputation of just being a big hitting athletic team. You can score as many as you want. We'll just score more. But at 15-6 up against the Sliders (no.1 team) in the second game we started to choke. Bottom of 5th they took it to 15-9. We were panicking. Struck out in the next inning. Sliders had a couple of big hitters up for the bottom of the 7th to finish the game. We went into the top of the 7th needing something. A lift. We had managed to load the bases somehow. No runs though. One of our best batsmen, Sean, a hurling player, stepped up surely to save the day. Grand slam time. He got thrown out in a tight play to 1st. The pitcher was whooping and hollerin' as if it was game over. This guy had bugged us all season. Now it looked like he'd be dancing on our grave.
And to his delight, with 1 out, a girl steps up to the plate. He beckons to the fielders to come in. Hold your horses there son. This ain't no ordinary girl. Erin Madden, with the body of a Munter, and the strength of a Dohm, by her own admission had not batted well recently. Greater men could've wilted under this pressure. But while the swedes probably couldn't hit the broadside of a barn with a bow and arrow, they are famed for their nerve. The original iceman, Bjorn Borg, a fitting testament to this.
The Ulster Elks, season and pride hanging in the balance, held their breath on the sidelines. First pitch - strike. She didn't even swing. An embarrassed smile flashed across her face. I wish I could sit here and write that I was thinking I would have done anything to take her place on home plate. Not a chance. I was cowering in the dug-out barely able to watch. I knew what the Sliders were thinking. Their cocky pitcher had probably heard about Erin's style before. In a previous match, after winning a bet I had made with Erin I made her wear a pink tennis skirt. I also forbade her from explaining the skirt. So when others asked or joked she had to pretend it was her desire to wear this flamboyant skirt. The other team had their giggle too. What harm could a blonde so-cal ditz who liked pink do?! Judge at your peril, Sliders.
1 strike, 0 balls. 1 away, bases loaded. Second pitch.
It was good. She wanted it. Quick step into it with her left foot. Powerful drive through her left elbow. Full extension. CRACK! Sweet spot. The runners on base gingerly began their trek home in disbelief before being hurried by the enclave on the sidelines. No girl had ever hit a home run. Never mind a GRAND SLAM! The ball hadn't cleared the fence. 3 runs in. One to go. Erin sprinted at the same time the ball was being riffled back to home. Catcher caught it, Erin slid....
Inches, milliseconds didn't afford us the right to say we witnessed history that day. Erin did not become the first girl to hit a home run in Ulster Softball history. Nor did she get an even more coveted or historic grand slam. But for one play, she put the hopes of 12 clueless, hopeless softball rookies on her shoulders and carried them to their moment of glory. The Ulster Elks finished their inaugural season in a lofty 2nd, Erin's 3 RBIs bringing the score to 18-9 but more importantly restoring confidence to enable us to close out the bottom of the 7th with the Sliders going scoreless. Three up, three down.
The Elks broke 4 regular season records that year:
- Most runs in an inning (13)
- Most runs in a game (47)
- Highest margin of victory (47-5)
- Most runs in a season (213)
Somebody get a Hollywood agent on the phone!
I'll never understand how my wife never made it to professional sports in some way. She seems born for it. But she has accepted a much more humble calling. One that makes me very happy :)
UKBA answered. Time to let off some steam.
Ciao for now!
I failed to mention some of her other achievements. She can bench press almost 100 lbs in the gym, do 3 strict pull-ups, clean and jerk 115 lbs, do 30 consecutive push-ups, and cook a mean dinner!
ReplyDeletehahaaahahhaaaa!!! niall, i think you should be a writer!!!! im dead serious, this is so dang good!! i was so sucked into reading that entire post-i felt like i was reading a really good, funny book :) i hope erin's read all of these..
ReplyDeletep.s. why do i have to "prove i'm not a robot" every time i leave a comment?? so lame!
ReplyDeletep.p.s. didn't know you had robots trying to read your blog.